Gee - the quietloudspeaker

“男人”与“女人”之战争与和平

2010-02-20T14:22:00.005+08:00

WOOHOO! 不是经典巨作，是精细，狂热的小品佳作。充满动力和反思。
反思的课题：男人和女人。虽然是再寻常不过的课题，但，在喧闹，无厘头中，带层次，深度。赞！

喜欢何思思及“阿当哥夏姐”这两个角色。因为欣赏何思思那中性的短发带出的性感成熟的韵味，以及认同她在剧中所代表的理念。“阿当哥夏姐”当然是个虚构的角色，但他是一个聪明巧妙的戏剧手法，把整个主题浓缩灌入这个角色里，也在它身上体现对主题反思后的领悟。

喜欢何思思带广东腔的华语和那句句到位的广东话。把缺点转为优势，为此剧注入另一种元素。

喜欢从侧门打出的灯光效果。让人有安静走入内心世界的感觉。

喜欢foreground and background 的音响效果。

喜欢演员们的坦然放任。

喜欢导演谢幕时的朴素谦和及他对课题的细腻探讨。

见此创作，唤醒我对此课题的认识，增添对戏剧手法的窍门，也谦卑的知道自己的粗制滥造。

男与女的课题逃不离爱。而爱总是正面的。即使是世俗的，只字不谈神的爱，我仍相信它是符合神心意的。

喜欢中文剧场的氛围，因为觉得它不象英文剧场那样有一种为了反而反，为了挑战而挑战的气氛。中文剧场似乎保存了一份单纯，一份炽热，追寻着一份感动。

今天的我已经不是那个会在谢幕时激动地高喊什么“演员万岁！” “观众万岁！” 的十八九岁女生。
现在觉得那好肉麻。但这些口号背后的激动，仿佛又在那晚触动我。

但愿这感动继续留存，也希望有机会借舞台，话剧，来展现真，善，美。

位置

2009-11-07T23:19:00.004+08:00

回来四个月了。
几乎完全重拾了过去的生活。忙碌的工作，侍奉，照顾家庭，享受友谊。
离开过，让我对现有的位置感恩。
曾和瑞龙聊起那种独自处在另一个社会的感觉。
在那里，我不是谁的家人，没有人和我有深厚不言而喻的友谊，没有收入，没有地位。
在教会，没有人认识我，知道我的过去或对我的未来有任何期望。
那时感觉很浮。深深知道我在那里的位置，很浅。像沙滩上的脚印，风一吹就散了。
从没有比那时候知道拥有共同的过去而建立的关系，是如此重要及难以取代。

很感恩，我在这里的“位置”没有因为离开过而改变。
我较懂得珍惜我在家中的“位置”和责任；
我庆幸在工作场所中，大家不止为我保留了职位，也在心中保存了我的“位置”；
我欣喜在教会，我仿佛回到了一个很了解我，熟悉我的社群。它仿佛知道，有些是就是该我做，有些事就是该某人做。它对我有信任，要求和期望，我对它也有某种依赖和责任。

我感恩拥有那离开一年的经历和历练。
它使我能够以一个较成熟的姿态来迎接我生命中的个个“位置”。
感恩，感恩。

Hugs

2009-09-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

I hugged a friend today. Or did the friend hugged me? It was after I handed her a birthday gift that she gave me a hug. I believe that was a gesture of thanks.
But I believe, something is missing...
It was a brief one. I think its a culture thing. As Chinese we generally don't feel very at easy with hugs, maybe even a little shy. Though as a younger generation, we can do with a courtesy hug, and at times do find it meaningful, we generally do not immerse in the hug and feel it.

Something that I experienced differently in Vancouver was hugs.
First was when I first arrived in Regent to meet the International Student Coordinator. She's a Canadian, and she hugged me the first thing I entered her office. I nearly cried, because that was really a warm gesture when I felt all alone in a foreign land.
The second was on my last night in Vancouver. I remembered especially how a Japanese friend made me feel so different as she hugged me when I bade farewell. It was a gentle locking of arms and bodies PLUS an unexpected tight squeeze, to bring me really close to her. It was really warm and released the dam that was holding back tears in my eyes.
Those hugs were not formalities. Those were hugs that were not in a hurry. Those were hugs that seized and enjoyed the moment. Those were hugs that respected each other as beings created in God's image. Those were hugs in which love and messages were exchanged not through words.

Sorry that I didn't hug well today.
I'll replay when there's a chance. :-)

Hug hug...

最后第二份作业

2009-09-02T01:16:00.000+08:00

很久没回来写写了。
今晚收到了我离开维真(Regent College）前所交的最后第二份作业。
最后一份应该也很快会收到。
那将是我完成维真课程，正式告别维真和温哥华的一个休止符。

其实回到新加坡也快两个月了。
可以说老早就告别了维真和温哥华。
但我始终还没有争气的为这一段如此特别的日子写下一篇总结来向自己交待。
就约定，在收到最后一份作业时写下一个回忆。

缅怀维真，温哥华。。。

真，善，美，之美

2009-06-21T15:36:00.000+08:00

歌舞剧对我来说，有着很特别的魅力。
常令我血脉膨胀，内心汹涌澎湃，久久不能自己。
特别是有机会观赏跨时代的经典佳作，又在当中看到上帝的恩慈和荣耀。
心中的激动更是无法言喻。

羡慕，激赏，感叹，感恩。
这是我追求的美。

Lyrics | Enjolras, The Stude - Do You Hear the People Sing? lyrics

Lyrics | Eponine - On My Own lyrics

Drink with me to days gone by
To the life that used to be
At the shrine of friendship, never say die
Let the wine of friendship never run dry
Here's to you and here's to me

I must get the sound track!

A Dinner and a Breakfast

2009-05-26T15:57:00.000+08:00

THE DINNER
Cheese, crackers and dips as snacks or prelude to the dinner as people sit down to chat.
A sit down dinner for all, each with a full set of cutlery.
Respect for everyone's choice of drink; red wine, white wine, juice, water.
Delightful desserts: soft sponge cake, with Jelly, plus fresh strawberries, and chocolate coated strawberries and topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Ending it with your choice of hot drink, be it Green tea, Chamomile tea, Cappuccino, Americano, Espresso, Latte, etc. Even if they have to make just one cup of that drink for you.
Good time chatting with the hostess who is the only stranger at the table, making a point to go round the table to know you personally.

This dinner, is free, hosted at one of my lecturer's home.
A beautiful expression of respect and celebration of each person's individuality. They take every trouble and every extravagance they can for every small details to make one feel comfortable. And this is not a restaurant. Its a home dinner.

THE BREAKFAST
When I was first invited to a friend's place for breakfast just to get together, I was like...why breakfast? isn't there a better time to get together than that? I would never invite anyone to my place for breakfast as that would mean that I have to get up early to make sure my place is in order, and to prepare breakfast.
But well, since am an invitee here, I gladly go, and thinking to myself that I shall make sure that I eat whatever that is served whether or it is to my liking (since this is a Argentinian friend who had invited me and I almost only like Chinese food).

It turn out that I totally enjoyed the breakfast! Since there was only 3 of us, we have lots of opportunities to girls talk, share about our thoughts, feelings dreams and aspirations. I appreciate such efforts to 'get together'.

I think it is not only the Chinese who got it. The Westerners are getting it too. That food brings people together. And it is not the food, but the people that is the focus.

Let's be aware

2009-05-08T13:12:00.000+08:00

Long time ago, people think Christianity is about gaining political power.
For some time, they realized: oops! they were mistaken.
Then for a long time, Christianity evolved into some high and mighty kind of tradition and rules.
So through a period of time, some people protested, and Christianity became personal and engaging.
While at no time did Christianity advocated war and hatred;
At specific times, Christianity were the reason for much bloodshed and killing.
Perhaps many a times, Christianity looked imperialistic.
But there were times when some good were done through mistakes.
Slipping through time, Christianity somewhat slipped from the front stage to the backdrop of society.
But now come a time, when scrutiny is on Christianity.

So what is Christianity about?
Political control? power? traditions? rules? personal transcendental experience? a good social group? sacrificial love? life-givingness?

In such a time, it is especially important that we be aware indeed of what Christianity is all about.

Ooooh...Monastery

2009-03-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

I had a course that brought us to Westminster Abbey Monastery for a retreat the previous weekend.
Before going, I was thinking...hmmm...Monastery...interesting...but perhaps, I've gotta be prepared for a less than comfortable stay, since its after all a monastery...
To make sure I had a clean decent place to lie in, I brought along my sleeping bag so that I can at least cocoon in it.

But well, to my pleasant surprise, the monastery is so cool in its quiet ways. Best of all, we were given a nice simple and clean room each! I think the beauty of the room is in its simplicity. No TV, no internet. Just the place to make me spend time with myself and God instead of escaping into the virtual world.

Stepping out of the building, the monastery is built on a hill overseeing a Frasers Valley. Its a beautiful sight. One can mistaken the place for Europe.

A little about the Monastery:
- there's about thirty over monks residing in the monastery (some old some young and handsome).
- they wear black robe, totally a fashion statement.
- the monks plant their own vegetables and rear their own animals for meat.
- their daily life revolve around five (or seven, can't remember. Confused with the Muslims) prayer times throughout the day. They arrange their work and activities around the prayer time. Not the other way round.

That's about it. Some photos for your viewing pleasure.

my simple little room.

a little cemetery for the monks. Once there, they are to be there forever. literally.

I cheated... this is a picture taken from a postcard.

What I've learn lately ...

2009-02-21T04:43:00.000+08:00

1. To consider the opportunity to serve as well in choosing church; relationship is not necessary the only consideration. (this is when having tea with Kaman)

2. As Christians, I should see myself as work against over arching structures to do what God would have us do. " ...行公义，好怜悯，以谦卑的心于我的神同行。" (this is from history tutorial on 18/19 Century, the group of pple who fought against the social structure and systems to abolish slavary and introduced many good things.)

3. Never to treat people as an object (from the movie "Wit" by Emma Thompson; and from history tutorial's discussion on socialization as oppose to community) One should not be Educating workers for the workforce. As a teacher or education workers, one educates people, citizens. Do not objectify people.

4. Someone said Chinese just want to be left alone (judging from the lack of response from chinese students to comment on the missionary work during lecture). Chinese as a race, suffered or perhaps still suffers a sense of shame from the opium war. The great determination to do well in the Olympic 2008 might be a manifestation of this, an attempt to recover from the shame. It is also strange that Chinese seems to hv to follow what the westerners do to prove their own worth. eg. want to have the largest Gucci outlet in Shanghai, etc. Not like the Italians, or Germans or French, they just do what they like or good at or want regardless of what the English is doing. (this is from history lecture on missionaries and events in China in the 18/19 Century, as well as conversation with Anson.)

5. Sunday school shaped the mindset of people in the 18/19 Century! Such powerful work. 在小事上忠心，在大事上有成就。 (this is from history lecture on 18/19Century. The group of friends including Hanna Moore who brought many positive changes to the world.)

6. Christians need to know, listen to the world around them, in order to engage the world meaningfully. Should not assume the world is waiting to hear what you have to say. this is why Christian Art is often seen as boring, not standard, even propaganda. (this is from CTC reading)

7. What makes one human? memories and imaginations... (I've always knew memories got to do with it, hence my 我怀念的。。。entries)

Just some of my learnings and thoughts that I want to document. Nevermind if you can't make head and tail out of it...

no particular reason for choosing this picture. Simply, I like it...

长发为君剪

2009-02-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

他的身材瘦削，外表并不出众。
他的声音柔和，有点啰嗦。
他的地方陈设，中西合并，还养了几只小鹦鹉。
他工作认真，一丝不苟，仔细分析，超时工作。
他专业，专注，追求完美。
他诚恳，可以说不计酬劳。
不像他的同行那样不停地推荐他们认为客人需要的服务。
提到自己有客人所需的产品时，还十分不好意思。

为这一切，我交出了我的。。。长发。
其实没想到他真的不客气。
是福是祸都还好。因为头发会继续长。哈哈！

Am definitely more brave than Mao when it comes to haircut. Perhaps too brave.

我怀念的。。。高中，中文学会篇

2009-01-08T19:18:00.000+08:00

我一定是太闷了。。。竟然想起高中在中文学会的日子。

当时的我演过孕妇。。。剧名叫《电梯》。
当时的我被学长们认为有责任感而选为副主席。
当时的我被舞台的魅力和台下的团队精神深深吸引，感动，着迷。
当时的我常呆在学校温习功课到晚上九点钟学校关门。
当时的我早上因迟到了，很恨那长廊，晚上回家时，却很享受漫步长廊。
当时的我很喜欢夜里的蓝园。
当时的我喜欢在蓝园唱《担心》，听朋友唱《爱的代价》，《我愿意》，
《伤痕》，《将心照亮》，《细水长流》《祝福》，《分享》等歌曲。
当时的我第一次真的觉得自己有领导能力。
当时的我第一次开始导戏，也当所谓的舞台总监。
当时的我会为了筹备演出，而劳心劳力，把自己累到不行。
当时的我虽然有穷到饿肚子的经验，但也从来不把它当一回事。
当时的我也八卦谁喜欢谁，当然，也有些追求者。
当时的我因一位学弟对我说：
“本来看你的样子不知道你为什么会是副主席，但现在觉得你应该是主席。”而感到非常自豪。
当时的我拥有不同层面的友谊，很庆幸也从当时开始了一段很深长的友谊。
当时的我每次测验考试紧张时，都会告诉自己我是带着许多人的祝福和祷告进考场的而常能镇定下来。
当时的我常因测验名列前茅而感到开心。
当时的我也第一次尝试到重重的失败，几乎崩溃，知道付出不一定会有成果。

当时的一切多少都造就今天的我，和今天的回忆。

"The" etc...

2009-01-07T05:47:00.000+08:00

The Reader
上星期六看了一场电影。
影片结束之后，看到演员名单才知道那女主角是Kate Winslet。
天哪！不知到是化妆成功，还是她真的老了。我竟然人不得她！

[有意去观赏此电影的请别读这段故事叙述以免扫兴。]
故事开始讲述一位德国少年，和一位三四十岁的女子（Henna）发展了一段暧昧关系。Henna总喜欢在与少年发生性行为前或后要少年为她朗读书籍。
但Henna竟在她从巴士售票员被擢升成文员时，舍弃工作和少年不告而别。
少年后来当见习律师时，惊见Henna在犯人滥里被提控，告她和另六位女子在德国战争当女看守员时，没有在看守房失火时开锁让她们看守的女战俘逃命。
其他被告都指诬指Henna是当时后的负责人并亲笔写了文件通告指示不可开门。
少年知道控状绝对可以被推翻因为他回想时发觉Henna并不识字。
但Henna 却为了不愿当众承认自己是文盲，而承认罪状，并被判了终身监禁。
已成为律师的少年，在下来的二三十年，虽然从来没有去探监，
但一直为Henna 录制自己朗读的书籍，让Henna 有机会在监牢慢慢的识字。
当Henna 已是白发苍苍的老婆婆时，她得到了假释。
由于她无亲无故，已步入中年的律师为她安排了她假释后的住宿和生活。
但在她被释放的前几天，她竟然上吊结束自己的生命。

Henna为那律师带来的震撼也是给每位观众的震撼。
我相信是骄傲（pride)驱使了Henna 的决定.
她宁愿坐牢也不愿承认自己是文盲。
她结束生命，因为已白发苍苍的她已不能像以前一样以身体来换取少年为她朗读书籍或任何事。

-----------------
The Slacker
发现独自一人，是比较容易颓废的。
睡到日上三竿，自然醒。
天气不是下雨就是下雪。想去哪里都没,还要冒着没有公共交通回来的危险。
看书，上网，听广播，感觉上是无所事事。

-----------------
The true service provider
那天巴士在雪地上慢慢的行使，偏僻的路上有一女子在跑。司机停下巴士，开门问女子是要追巴士还是在跑步。
虽然真的很难想象有人会要在下着雪的雪地上跑步，穿着有笨重，但那女子还是说她在跑步。
司机祝她跑步愉快，就继续开动巴士。
很温馨的以客为本的服务精神。
听说，晚上九点过后，还可以要求司机在顺路，不影响交通的情况下，让乘客指定下车地点，好让乘客能安全到家。
温哥华的公共交通司机极少专注搭客是否有付车资。地铁更是大致上依赖人们诚实地付车资，除了突击检查（random check)没有任何闸门来控管付款程序。
乘客呢，也有好些会在下车时高声谢车长的。
值得学习。

-----------------
The missing of "if there's seasons..."
"这里没有季节，只有天气。。。"
我在有季节，有天气的地方，想念着那没有季节只有天气的地方。
心痛。。。因为将错过。。。
唉。。。

美丽的《天冷》

2008-12-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

08年的最后一天，理应写写关于08年的事迹。
但我无意间接触到音乐剧《天冷就回》的新网站，
一时勾起了许多对于音乐剧的回忆，激动和冲动。

观看《天冷就回来》首演，已经是超过一年前的事。
今天看网站时，我依然可以深切地感受到我当晚的激动。
激动得不让好友开她自己的车回家，
好让我们可以在我的车上说说唱唱《天冷》，谈谈对舞台，对音乐剧的见解，诠释和冲动。

舞台是很有魅力的。舞台剧，音乐剧的现场立体感，是很有穿透力和感染力的。
有的人一生都在追求这种美。耗尽青春，牺牲收入的稳定来追求这种舞台的魅力和美。
是虚荣心的驱使，还是单纯的追求唯美，也许连自己也不知道。

曾经听一位传道人说“美”对某些人（特别是艺术家）来说是他们的偶像。是追求，敬拜，推崇，信仰的对象。
但，“美”俨然是上帝的创造。我认同某些学者说的，艺术和“美”是管道，是指南。当“美”单单指向“美”，它是空洞的。
“美”的吸引力，是要反映“美”的创造，成就者，把人提升，并聚焦在那创始承终的上帝。

编写，指导一部音乐剧是我的一个梦想。
坦白说，是虚荣，是追求‘美’还是要以它指向上帝，我没有办法说得准。
想按着这份冲动去献一份美丽的祭给上帝。
这才明白，我们献祭的本能，意愿和能力都是从上帝来的。
“我的好处，不再你以外。”

08年，我们数算恩典，09年，我们仰望恩典。

Oh Noooo! I won't be back in sg in time for the second run of this musical!

"The Shaming of the Strong"

2008-12-22T06:56:00.000+08:00

A severely deformed baby in the womb...
Is she in pain?...
Does she has any legal rights?...
How do the parents and family love and bond with an unborn child...
The place of legal system, morality, feminism, Christian ethics, kinship, friendship, and pastoral care...
How is she valued, by what yardstick...
What is the purpose God has in mind for her...

I finished the book in one day...easy to read book (not typical of Regent). A sharing of personal experience by a Historian (by profession), whose husband is an Economist (by training). Both are members of faculty in Regent College. I was drawn to read the book in view of real life observation of the sincere mannerism of the Historian and the 'handsome-ness' of her husband.

As what you would expect from a Historian, the book is by and large 'as a matter of fact' account, with much less of emotionally charged wordings. But with such a topic,... how not to cry?

A heavy but beautiful journey of a mother, a father, a family, a community, with an unborn child and with God. A beautiful attitude toward people. A beautiful God.

白色的美丽

2008-12-17T02:23:00.000+08:00

考完试咯！心情是白色的。
很庆幸这次考试并没有已往的紧张。成功的以平常心对待。
不是考题太容易，也不是我才智过人。
是新加坡教育制度的训练，让我懂得选题备考。
是上帝赐的平安，让我卸下在新加坡的紧张。
心情是白色的，因为轻松，空白，待填满。

下雪咯！景物是白色的。
第一次看雪，是03年到澳洲旅行时。
当时只感觉冷到鼻涕直流，头脑呆滞，脚下的滑雪靴子沉重无比。
完全没心情欣赏雪景。
但这次不同。温哥华下雪了！太漂亮了！
一夜间，所有的房子，篱笆，汽车，树干，都覆盖着一层厚厚，白白，软软的雪。
真的有如身处在童话故事的情景中。

毛毛要上学咯！头脑一片空白。难以置信。
什么！毛毛要上学了？怎么可能。。。
毛毛不是还牙牙学语，偶尔表演他的“巴。巴。巴。”绝技吗？
他不是刚学会走路，左钝右摆的走着，要跌不跌的吗？
他不是那天才呆呆的以他的笑脸看着我，单纯，傻傻，得喝奶吗？
不是咯！毛毛已经会拼自己的名字，会以单字来表达自己。
他已经跑的比我想象中快，玩得比谁都疯。
他已懂得什么是好吃的食物，还会竖起食指（对，是食指）来表示食物美味可口。
毛毛呀，你在干妈的记忆中还没长大。真的要上学了吗？拜托，别那么快长大好吗？
你白色的校服和鞋子，就快陪着你白色的心，一起去认识这缤纷彩色的世界了。
你妈肚子里的蝴蝶，等着你去抓哦。

我长大了！

友情无价。。。我怀念的 -- 友谊食物篇

2008-11-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

那博君一笑的文章，心领了！
的确让我笑得前俯后仰。
周末的刻意上网和电话，在你的部落各中提起我，是让我在异乡不寂寞。

我们学mobeizao 和caishenjiang；学阿琼和阿桂；
人家说我们象是小学生的好朋友。
两个人吃KFC四人份的buddy meal; 在东海岸吃得下满桌的菜后还去吃榴莲；
吃waffle ice cream 的速度快到你回家吐；
我们一起吃东西总是要饱到tip over才甘愿。

我们吃麻辣火锅时讲我们所谓的遗憾，让我们笑到流眼泪。
在喝酒间假装访问你的人生哲理为你庆生；在我最喜爱的餐厅非得吃那因误会而点的炸香蕉甜品。

这些吃得笑的都让我笑着怀念。

If I were...

2008-11-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

If I were in sg, I would order for myself a plate of orh lua plus a cup of teh 'O'...
If I were in sg, Beck and I would shop and have ice-cream at Causeway point on Sunday afternoon while Mao is taking his nap...
If I were in sg, I would take over Church Anniversary project from HL so she can concentrate on growing her baby...
If I were in sg, I would be reliving the past at the Church Anniversary celebration...
If I were in sg, I would watch stage dramas and the movie 'Chi Bi 2'...
If I were in sg, I would set up the Christmas Tree at home...
If I were in sg, I would kiss and hug and smell Mao Mao...
If I were in sg, I would take over Beck's song lead in view of her sore throat and the many weddings to attend...
If I were in sg, I would be rejoicing with JL and XM each at their weddings...
If I were in sg, I would be gorging myself with Hokkien mee, Barbeque Stingray, Char Chao Chao Rou Fan, Lychee flavoured Bubble tea, Bah Chor Mee, Hay Mee, Ban Mian, Rojak, Kway Chap, Bah Kut Teh, etc, etc...

But then again,
If I were still in sg, I would be so tired and drained by work that is forever sucking my blood leaving me passionless...
If I were still in sg, I would be skeptical and tired out by ministries, rendering me ineffective, bitter and guilty that I should feel this way...
If I were still in sg, I would continue to be blur and vague about issues that are important, not knowing or having courage or chance to live life right...
If I were still in sg, I would soon be a lifeless moving body, incapable of feeling due to the numbness to life...

Hence the fact that am here serves a purpose. A very good purpose in fact. It is WORTH IT. (after all that money spent...hahahaha)

我是社会工作者

2008-11-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

上星期三，和一位不太熟的朋友谈起我的职业。
每当提起我的职业，我总是略带点骄傲和一点愧疚的说我是一名社会工作者。

朋友问为什么投身吃力不讨好的行业。我说It's a Calling.
坦白说，我对社会工作还有许多还没理清的理念，还有未克服的心理障碍。
我讨厌肮脏和臭味。我会怀疑贫穷是否是因为各人的懒惰。我不是常常都充满爱心的。
因为我是社工，所以我知道，帮助人是很累的，是会被骗被骂的，是需要很大智慧的，而功效常常是很小的。
于是我需要暂时喊停。

但，正如你我看到贫穷人时，心理会下沉会不忍；
我坚信帮助有需要的人，是上帝要祂的子民作的事。而那心中的下沉和不忍，是上帝给我们的感动。
当我说我要学习爱人如己时，我就不能看着原本该有上帝形象的人，活得连狗都不如还无动于衷。
所以身为基督徒的，对帮助有需要的人，都当是义不容辞的。这份责任，不受年龄，背景，人生阶段，经济情况影响。

可是现代的基督徒，是不是被个人主义（Individualism）影响多过受圣经教导的影响。
信仰，光是回答我们心中问题，让我们感觉好，和拥有多一个社交圈子吗？
要影响基督徒和教会，岂不是另一项巨大无比的工程？

今天的崇拜信息，取自使徒行传4：32-37，是要沉浸在上帝的恩典中，才能享受施与的态度和行动。
沉浸在上帝的恩典中是窍门。其实也是喜乐生命的窍门。让我们一起学习吧！

发光如星

2008-11-09T16:44:00.000+08:00

不经意的在网上接触到在今年二月突然逝世的唱片制作人兼歌手，马兆骏的新闻。留意到他是因为他在“康熙来了”节目上唱了几句他的新作品《起初的爱》。之前并不知道马兆骏是基督徒的我，才听了几句，就马上知道这歌是写给上帝的。
歌词里没有耶稣，上帝，Hallelujah之类的词句，但是却能让人一听就知道和流行歌曲有所不同。在“康熙来了”这样一个节目里，听到这样的歌让人有点惊讶。于是搜寻了关于他的新闻。

马兆骏作词，作曲，或演唱的歌曲据说有五百多首。其中一些我有印象的有：
马兆骏《我要的不多》，伊能静《爸爸不要说》，《会有那么一天》，张信哲《宽容》，等等。不经意的又发现还有一首我不久前，在开车时听到电台播出，象是基督教但当时不确定的歌曲：范玮琪《心的发现》。

据资料显示，马兆骏很年轻时就成名，但在他32 岁时，因父亲去世深受打击，而意志消沉，甚至酗酒吸毒。他之后接受福音，生命大大的改变。《宽容》是他在信主后写给太太的歌。除了在歌曲里散布基督教思想外，他也常在上节目时坦荡荡的谈论他的信念。

在网上断断续续看到为他办的一场《发光如星- 马兆骏纪念音乐会》。参与的艺人是空前的多，信徒和非信徒的歌手，还是超大牌的歌手都来支持。感动的是好多位艺人都见证这位基督徒生命的改变和爱心。

在他的专业领域里散布基督教理念和思想，让上帝的爱渗透进所谓世俗的世界。这正是为主发光如星。但愿你我能效法。

ps: 有人在台湾能帮我买这套《发光如星- 马兆骏纪念音乐会》的DVD吗？我在网上找不到。我真的想买，想支持。

2008-11-03T17:19:00.000+08:00

我怀念的。。。工作编

11th floor CSSD and SYD rendezvous

I miss the first year of working, esp...

...the time when we were running my first ASEAN Ministerial Meeting. Manning the counter with Denise who was perpetually coughing at that time, and I got her warm water to soothe her throat.

...the time when we had did a "oonga boonga" cheer. I still remember part of it that goes..." Oonga boonga, we are good ah, work ah, play ah, all can do ah..." And we dressed ourselves with garbage bags.

... the time when we had a Sports Day, CSSD is green team with our Director Amy as our Mascot.

...the time when we went for a buffet lunch at Marina Mandarins Hotel with Denise, Selena, Grace, Lilian and Jessie( I think) on 31 Dec 2000. We took pic with Grace's Polaroid sticker camera outside the hotel along Orchard Rd.

...the time when I was with Denise and Selena (I think) at Cafe Cartel at Serangoon Gardens, and Denise mistook something for a big raw chicken on top of their oven. And we laughed at her saying, even if she is Mrs Kway, she didn't have to see everything as chicken.

...the time when Selena suddenly challenged us to speak without letting our lips touch each other, and Denise gamely tried giving instructions without letting her lips touch...argh argh argh argh....hilarious!

I never thought office was so fun and never laughed so much in office again...

缅怀过去 - 年少乐狂

2008-10-26T15:57:00.000+08:00

因着教会10 周年庆，和好友聊起当年事。。。
当年的“情圣”， “大姐大”，谁曾经爱过谁的故事，和对过客们记忆，都是今天美好的回忆。
当中的玩笑，只有我们开得了，听得懂。

缅怀的也有因工业意外逝世的吴捷和淑筠。
他们的善良，诚恳，热心，和一同分享过的点点滴滴，是宝贵的回忆。
可恶的是，记忆开始模糊了。

一直很想写一些过去的事。一些“我怀念的”事。
开心的，悲伤的，有意义的，无厘头的。
让记忆沉淀，保留着。

当年没有数码相机，即使有，哈哈我也未必会让当年的面貌重现。
凑合，凑合吧！

生日为什么要快乐呢？

2008-10-20T15:46:00.000+08:00

对没有信仰的人而言，
孩子，是可爱的，是珍贵的。
孩子，是一面镜子，把父母亲来反映，也是父母亲的延续。
孩子，是理由，是动力，是让人要创造美好未来的力量。
孩子，是希望，是光芒，让人在堕落的世界里，有理由相信明天。

对有信仰的人而言，除了以上之外，
孩子，是礼物，上帝所赐的礼物。
孩子，是无价的欢乐。
孩子，是聪明的上帝借给父母亲们的宝贝，
让人学会，体会，经历无私的爱，才知道上帝有多爱我们。

生日要快乐。
因为我们都曾是孩子，都是宝贝，都是无价的。

赫磊，生日快乐！

病态的疲倦

2008-10-20T09:34:00.001+08:00

学院建议我们选定一天进行个人退休(personal retreat)。这并不如想象容易。

原因一：中考及作业期限逼近；原因二：是累吗？

我决定选定半天，其实该说是三小时来进行个人退休。

第一个小时还好，以祷告，经文
和诗歌总算静下来了。
但第二小时，
竟然就睡着了。一睡就是两个小时！
在忙惯了的生活里，
静下来时，真的会睡着。

在新加坡时，我真的很忙。分不清是自己犯贱，
拼命找事来忙，还是事情找我来忙。
总之真的是慢不下，静不下来。
来到加拿大，步伐是慢了，但，
心还是静不下来，所以会睡着。

不管在哪里，总是把自己累得不可以，是真的没选择吗?
或许需要非常刻意
和努力，甚至小牺牲，但，有一小时经验的我觉得应该是值得的。
就连汤牧师（在多年前）都说过，这至少能降血压。

故此我决定：
把过去的疲倦卸下，
重拾那失去了的喜乐，
盼望重识异象。

成為我異象

懇求心中王，成為我異象，

萬事無所慕，惟主是希望！

願祢居首位，日夜導思想，

工作或睡覺，慈容作我光。

成為我智慧，成為我箴言，

我願常跟祢，祢作我良伴。

祢是聖天父，我得後嗣權，

祢住我心殿，我與祢結連。

不掛意富裕，不羨慕虛榮，

主是我基業，一直到永恆。

惟有主基督，能居我心中，

祂是天上王，勝珍寶權能。

天上大君王，輝煌的太陽，

我贏得勝仗，天樂可分享。

境遇雖無常，但求心中王，

掌管萬有者，永作我異象。

一个阶段

2008-10-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

一转眼，来到温哥华已经六周了。学校的学期也过了三份之一。下周便是自修周，不用上课。
总得来说，最艰难的适应期应该已经过了。生活算是上了轨道。比刚来时习惯了天气，也较勇于尝试做菜。

课业虽不容易跟得上当有的进度（因为之前懂的太少），但抱着不给自己太大压力而已平常心去逐一面对，勉强还是过得去的。就是交朋友方面，我想我还不够开放。较频密接触的都是亚洲朋友。这是自然的。也没什么不好。只不过，少了和老外的接触，好像不太像到了老外的地方，也没融入他们的生活。随遇而安吧。不想太刻意勉强自己。毕竟我是来休息的。

随着生活渐渐安定下来，是时候安静想想，找找上帝了。上帝一直都在，就是我不知道让心跑去哪里了。是时候把心安定下来面对上帝。好好想想当怎么过。。。

可爱的mao mao 是不是也为干妈在想呢？

十年了。。。 Y10 十周年随笔

2008-10-01T13:33:00.000+08:00

曾经，有异象，有开始，从幼苗，到成长，接续着，有兴旺，有停滞，有热切，有冷漠，有欢笑，有悲伤，有分歧，有合一，有麻木，有感动，有担当，有放下。。。
人们常说，覆盖一切的，是主恩手的带领。
虽不尽都明白，极力摸索，回顾时，看到的是：
自己，弟兄姐妹，和上帝的足迹。
期盼下个十年，你我的经历和努力，配得恩主说：
“。。。你这又良善又忠心的仆人，你在不多的事上有忠心，我要把许多事派你管理；可以进来享受你主人的快乐。”

感动，因为有说不出的生命力。

2008-09-24T13:17:00.000+08:00

早上参加了学院的集体崇拜。
崇拜将结束时，原本沉浸在庄严，反思气氛中的会众，
被院长温柔的报告振住了。
因为正热切带领崇拜的崇拜主任，她父亲被证实患了癌症。
而另一位教授的妻子，也因癌症，在今天清晨逝世了。
之前也曾从报告和代祷时知道这位教授娘患病。
但因为素未谋面，所以没能感受那代祷的迫切。

而今天，这两则消息，除了让崇拜气氛染上了悲凉，和惋惜外，
也让我体会到从上帝而来的力量和感动。
我想，感动因为看见这些身在苦难中弟兄姐妹的坚韧，信心和生命力。
同时也看到整体学院的合一和人情味。

苦难，病痛，大家都不愿意。
但当上帝允许它临到时，它是有价值的吧。
搞笑的好友，不也是从苦难中突然让我看到她的坚韧和成长吗？

喜乐，因为知道做对了。。。

2008-09-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

上星期，知道同样上早上七点钟那堂课的日本同学住得很远。
在和房东沟通后，今天终于邀请日本同学在那堂课的前一天到我房间过夜。
她兴奋的表情，和感激的拥抱，让我感到温暖。
我的邀请，从新加坡人的眼光来看，是唐突的。
毕竟和她也只有两面之缘。
但受的恩多了，也会有施恩的需要。真的。
不管怎样，这善意的交流，也让我心温暖一时。
盼望对日本同学也一样。
更盼望天父也因此微笑。

阳光，另一种感觉

2008-09-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

从来都不太喜欢新加坡的阳光。太烈了。尤其是午餐时间的阳光。
我向来都会尽量地找有盖的路走。

从来没有像现在那么喜欢阳光。人在温哥华才体会什么是温暖的阳光。
常会刻意走在阳光里。

和亲友的感情也如此。
从来都不太喜欢太近的距离。有时觉得无法负荷。
所以有时会闪躲。很多时候不知如何接触。虽然很近但也很远。

人在异乡，才特别体会亲友的温暖。
电话，电邮，msn, 和 skype 里的每一句话，都有不同的感动和亲切。
因此，常上网联系, 游走。